I encountered some freezing rain on the drive home tonight, and it brought back a few memories...

I remembered the night a few years back when I got caught in the midst of a snowstorm while on some last-minute Christmas errands. The roads were especially slippery, and I slid through a stoplight and slammed into the side of a gasoline tanker...

Back then, times were a little rough for me, and that was the last thing I needed. My truck got dinged up pretty good, but everything seemed to be mechanically sound. The radiator hadn't been punctured, and even the headlights still worked. I couldn't really afford to call a tow truck, and the only thing holding me back was some bent sheet metal keeping one of the front tires from turning all the way. So I took what I had to work with--a shovel--and started hacking away...

I must have been a little stressed from the accident, because at one point I actually blacked out. But I came to right away, and kept shearing the metal away with the blade of my shovel. It took forever, and my hands almost froze from the cold steel, but I got the job done.

And later, I didn't even bother to submit an insurance claim, cause I figured they would just total my truck anyway, and then I'd really be in trouble. So I've been driving it like that ever since, putting on about 30,000 miles since the wreck...

Besides, it might not be pretty to look at, but at least it still runs. And I thank the Lord for a truck that's as tough as I am.

Then I remembered what happened a little over one year ago...

I was working as a welder in a factory on the night shift. My brother was graduating from the Army's Basic Training program, and I was gonna be there to see it.

But I was low on cash--even with all the overtime I had been working. Not to mention that the gas lines on my truck had rusted out, and were now leaking gas in a steady drip.

Drip, drop, tick, tock. I was driving a ticking time bomb.

But I did what I had to do, and just drove it like that anyway.

I needed to get my truck fixed, but to do that, I had to stop eating. I was already working twelve-hour days, six and seven days a week, and then coming home and typing on my website until I was literally too tired to see. My wrists had started giving me problems, and I could barely turn the knob on the shower faucet. But I simply did not care anymore.

Then one night, about ten and a half hours into a twelve-hour shift, I started showing signs of heat exhaustion. I was welding in the heat while wearing a long-sleeved jacket and jeans, and I guess not eating enough caught up to me...

I couldn't concentrate, and I was having trouble keeping my balance. I knew I was gonna need a trip to the hospital if I kept working any longer, but I was a little worried about just walking off the line.

I finally decided to walk out, and stumbled towards the middle of the parking lot. And at that precise moment, I had this realization...

The true measure of a warrior's strength is not breadth of arm, but depth of heart.

...

Now times are a lot better. I'm working for a consulting firm in Chicago, and can afford to do a bunch of things I've never been able to do before (like travel and rent Shelby's). I could probably even buy a new truck if I wanted to...

But this project isn't done yet, and I've still got a lot of work to do. I'm not even complaining; I'm just trying to come to terms with some of this stuff. Sometimes it's a little hard to let the past go and move on--but I'm trying hard to do just that. Rest assured I'll eventually get my act together and finish the job, cause that's what I do.

I'm certainly not perfect--being myself much closer to a prodigal son. But a sense of destiny guides me, and though I know not where it leads, I can feel it driving me forward. This is my road to redemption, and it is a long road indeed.

« Prev | Blog | Next »